Everyone farts, but not everyone knows how to fart quietly.
However, it can be embarrassing when you’re in a public place and your fart slips out. There are many ways to minimize the sound of your farts by changing the way you release them or even where you let them go.
In this blog post, I’ll be sharing with you some of the best techniques on how to fart quietly at work, school, and in the toilet without anyone realizing it.
Also Read: How to Kiss Quietly and Passionately
A-List of Ways on How to Fart Quietly
While the methods highlighted in these posts will not entirely make your farts quiet, they will go a long way in masking the sound of your farts.
Let’s get started.
1. Buy a Fart Silencer
A fart silencer is a great way to silence your farts.
A product that helps you avoid embarrassing moments, such as at the workplace or in class is right here.
One of my most recommended fart silencers is the Smell & Sound Fart Pad Absorbers available on Amazon.
The best part with the fart silencer is the fact that it does not only silence your farts but also ensures that you pass pleasant smelling gas.
Simply tuck it in your buttocks and forget about those nasty smelling and loud farts.
2. DIY Home Made Fart Silencer
A homemade fart silencer works as the silencer discussed above.
Unfortunately, this type of fart silencer won’t mask the smell of your farts.
Grab some towels or simply your sweater and place it on the surface of your chair.
It’ll create some sort of cushioning that will mask the sound of your farting.
Remember the surface you’re sitting on highly determines how loud or quiet your farts will be.
Plastic chairs or simply leather surfaces will somehow amplify the farting sounds and also make it harder for you to conceal it.
If you can’t get some cushioning, I would highly recommend you get up and walk around while releasing your farts in smaller bits.
3. Adjust your Position
adjust your position to improve your chances of farting quietly.
If you can, sit on the edge of a chair and cover both exits with paper towels or other items to absorb the smell.
If you are in a chair, lean forward and put your elbows on your knees.
This will help to squeeze the air out of your rectum quietly through the anus as well as decrease noise.
If you’re using an actual toilet, sit far back from the front edge so that when gas is released it doesn’t make a loud sound against the water.
If possible, position yourself over one side or corner rather than dead center where most toilets allow for more splashback.
Lastly, you could try this trick I found quite helpful.
If you’re standing, try and spread your butt cheeks such that the fart runs out smoothly with minimal butt clapping.
Be careful as this trick could also let out high pitched farting sound that could make you feel embarrassed.
4. Sit on Your Hands
Find a secluded place to practice farting slowly and silently by yourself.
Sit on your hands and try not to move them too much as this will create an air disturbance which can cause noise.
Inhale deeply through your nose before breaking wind so that it is easier for you to expel fluffier gas bubbles that would normally be passed out with ease if one did not hold their breath while trying to pass wind.
If this isn’t possible, simply relax by taking deep breaths before letting out the obnoxious stench or loud noise; if done properly then no one else should hear anything other than light breathing coming from yourself.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with giving off small sounds while you’re doing your business either.
5. Create a Distraction
This technique won’t make your farts quieter but will go a long way in masking your farts.
If everyone in the room is silent, please don’t dare fart.
I would recommend you to create some sort of distraction and then boom- release the gas.
You can simply crack a joke that will surely make everyone laugh or simply cough.
However, the simplest way is to play music so that the fart sound is masked by the music sound.
This is a true lifesaver especially when the fart comes out louder than you anticipated.
6. Take a Walk
Sometimes you don’t have to fart quietly especially if you’re alone.
Leave the room and take a walk alone, and with all your might let out that gas.
You’ll feel much relieved and this will also ensure the smell of your fart disperses in the room.
7. Reducing Gas
According to research, a normal person farts 5-15 times a day. (Source)
The frequency of how a person fart is highly dependent on one person to the other.
Below are some proven methods that will ensure that you don’t fart so often.
- Avoid chewing gum- did you know that chewing gum increases the amount of gas increases the need to pass gas.
- Drinking peppermint tea is refreshing and also helpful when it comes to digestion. Peppermint tea helps reduce bloating and relieves cramps. If you intend to eat foods that cause gas or bloating, then I would highly advise a cup of peppermint tea to ease this problem.
- Regular exercise significantly helps improve your digestive tract reducing the chances of a bloated stomach.
- Avoid eating foods that are difficult to digest such as onion, beans, broccoli, dried fruits, Brussel sprouts, and cabbage.
Final Thoughts on How to Fart Quietly/Silently
Above are some of my most recommended methods on how to fart quietly.
These tips are quite helpful as they will help you prevent embarrassment from your colleague, friends, or your dinner date.
Lastly, farting is a natural process, and sometimes when everything else fails, all you have to do is release the gas regardless of what everyone else has to say.
Don’t be embarrassed when it comes to matters concerning your health.
Meet Mike O’Connor, (a DIY enthusiast), living in Cincinnati, a city ranked as the noisiest in the USA.
As a work from home dad, I have a first hand experience of how noise can truly affect your well being.
Soundproofing isn’t something that should be taken as a hobby, it should be a skill that every homeowner should be equipped with.
Most of the work documented on this blog comes from purely first hand experience, and the products recommended work as indicated.